The Love Letter

Posted on 07. Mar, 2009 by Michael Scott in Love & Relationships, Marriage, Poetry and Prose, Relationships

Yesterday, Acooba showed me a love letter I had written to her back in 1994. At the time, we were 5 and half years into our marriage, had two young children and a baby, and (besides working) I was attending graduate school for Marriage, Family and Child Therapy. Needless to say our schedules were full. Acooba rightly felt that we weren’t spending enough time together. I wrote her the following love letter (all those years ago) to calm her concerns.

But yesterday, upon re-reading the letter, it was me who was shaken and nearly moved to tears. I was moved not just by what the letter said, but also by what it didn’t say - hard times and challenge were ahead.

Every relationship, of course, has its ups and downs. Since the time of the love letter there have been many wonderful experiences of intense joy between us, but also some experiences of deep pain. Even though I feel my love for Acooba has been reaching new heights as of late, I had forgotten how much I loved her way back then. All the disagreements, fights, and mistakes took their toll on me - on both of us I think. There were even moments when it was hard to remember ever being in love.

Yesterday, re-reading the letter took me back through it all - through the good times and the trying times. Today, I remember that I’ve always deeply loved this woman. I now understand that when I had put up the walls to become less vulnerable to the pain, I also became numb to much of what was in my own heart. Acooba, I hope you will forgive me.

December 10, 1994

Dearest Acooba,

Music moves us constantly. Indeed music is the breath of God that sustains the flame of life. It makes the atom dance, it spins entire universes, it pulls the mighty tide, and drums the beating heart. Creation itself is but a symphony - and we, but dancing melodies.

I am in Love with you. We are two souls joined to the same vibration. When we listen to the Music, we are in harmony. We dance together and produce one rhythm. Where then is there space to be alone? Even the ebb and flow are inextricably joined. The earth revolves millions of miles from the sun, yet both work together to create one system of life. We too are in constant motion - sometimes spinning here, sometimes spinning there, but always moving as one system.

My life gains in harmony through my relationship with you. Did you hear that? My life gains in harmony through my relationship with you. If God has joined two melodies, it is only for the purpose of creating a greater harmony. Has not God brought us together? Isn’t that worth singing about? Oh, oh, my life gains in harmony through my relationship with you!!! Isn’t that worth dancing about? Oh, oh, (beat, beat) my life gains in harmony through my relationship with you!!! Isn’t that worth life itself?

I love you for your smile, for the timbre of your voice, the melody of your laughter, for the rhythm of your motion, the vibration of your essence, and sometimes even for your bursts of wicked inspiration. You are a woman - a wife and mother of three very blessed children. You contain all the gentleness, the caring, the strength and warmth of Africa herself. Damn, baby, you a woman.

Then, woman, listen. Listen to the Music that is already there. Let it move you. Let your heart rejoice in the rhythm of life. You will find happiness. And when you look, you will find me dancing right along side you.

- Michael Scott

Tags: Love, Relationships

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36 Responses to “The Love Letter”

Karen

07. Mar, 2009

Diligence facilitates bliss! Rock ON. I love you both.

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Acooba

07. Mar, 2009

Michael -
I was delighted to find this letter (and many others) in my old scrapbook, but your reflections today have moved me to tears. Interestingly, I can hardly remember the “fights, disagreements, and mistakes…” you mentioned, but I do remember the soothing elixir of your words of love. For a while I would pull it out and re-read it when I felt I needed to, but I guess over time I gradually absorbed the message that no matter what, “we’re in this together.”

The past can be a wonderful teacher, and your letter and today’s reflections have gifted me with some important reminders and lessons, including:

I am loved: I get this one a lot. I really get it. Thank you for reminding me in so many ways and not leaving any room for doubt. I hope and pray that you will always be as sure of my love.

Love is what you do, you may not always “feel” it: feelings can be capricious, but real love endures and the feelings follow.

Hang in there: Time heals. During some of our “downs” it may have felt like life would never be beautiful again. In the past we were lucky (blessed) that we never both let go at the same time. Now I know to hold on, no matter what, because morning always returns with warmth and light to dispel the chill and gloom.

Write it down, it has value & power: Although I’ve saved just about every card, note, letter, poem, that you’ve written to me, I’ve never come across anything angry or bitter in my collections. I know there were times you felt frustrated, hurt, even angry, but those feelings were allowed to drift away like smoke. What has endured are affirmations of love, the bedrock upon which we continue to build and grow. You have always used your gift with words for good. I am reminded of one of your verses: “Forgiveness: …finding greater value in the treasures of love than in the spoils of vengeance.”

So yes, I forgive you. Just as I know you have forgiven me. Thank you for being a wonderful life companion, faithful friend and loving teacher.

One last thing - ‘Love at First Sight’ is such a cliche, but that’s just how I felt when we met. I remember thinking “wow, so this is what love feels like!” From time to time over the years I’ve had moments where I’ve thought again, “wow, so THIS is really what love is!” It seems to get richer and deeper and more fulfilling over time. In one incredibly prescient line of this letter you wrote, “Even the ebb and flow are inextricably joined.” What a wonderful reminder that all the ups and downs serve to help us grow in love together.
Your grateful and happy dance partner,
Acooba

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Acooba

07. Mar, 2009

Hi Karen,
What a great mantra: “Diligence facilitates bliss.” I love it! Thanks for sticking with me (and us) through the thick and thin. You are and always will be my dear sister-friend. Love you too!
Acooba

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Michael Scott

07. Mar, 2009

Hi, Karen, welcome to Love to Spare!

Thanks so much for your continued love and support!

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GetJef

07. Mar, 2009

OMG people! What do you think you are doing here?! Trying to yank my sensitive feelings loose or something? That’s enough. All this mushy gushy stuff reminds me of that Love to Spare fella… ummm… Monte? uh… Milton? er… Mikey? Oh yeh! That’s the guy. Man, what a site he’s got. Always talking about love and connections, humankind, and junk like that. That man is off the charts! Untouchable even.

So what site am I posting to anyway? OMG! I’ll be damned! Who knew? How did I get here? What kind of malicious Internet voodoo redirects me from that crazy awesome IT site, http://www.getjef.com, and flashes me here? One minute I’m reading this great post on how to speed up my Firefox browser, the next minute I’m reading someone’s love letter. How confusing is that? Try putting those two topics together. Oh yeh, it becomes a love for my Firefox browser, I suppose.

My apologies good folks… Don’t mind me. I am clearly lost. Apparently I’m lost in the land of love. But if you have to be lost anywhere, this is a pretty good place to be. Since I’m here and I’ve already started typing this comment, I’d like to say how much I appreciate you both sharing this very personal and special part of yourselves. You are both pure poetry, reminding me of great stories in mythology. I love it. Thank you!

Exit browser left!

GetJef …if you can! =)

GetJef’s last blog post..Fire Up Foxfire!

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Michael Scott

07. Mar, 2009

@GetJef

Howdy, neighbor! (Note: I can call you a neighbor even though we live a 100 miles apart, ’cause we’re close like that)

Thanks for your good humor and kinds words. I especially love how you threw in the shameless plug (and link) to your blog. Pretty slick, mister. BTW, if you would like us to comment on your excellent blog then you should remove the requirement to register first. You don’t want to make it too hard for people to get Jef.

Thanks for being a friend, and an inspiring example of just being who you are despite what others might think.

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Sasha

07. Mar, 2009

Wow…as the tears stream down my face, my soul has been cracked open and is screaming to join in the dance that you are creating with your amazing/restorative/regenerative love. Your love not only restores one another, it sails across the country and SHOUTS into peoples’ souls and DEMANDS that they wake up and create love of this magnitude that streams out their pores…

The vibration from your amazing/restorative/regenerative love will start a revolution, and my heart will be the first to open up and join in. You are creating a dance for the nation, from two hearts that have one beat which is pounding forth a pulse so strong it will NOT be ignored or refused.

so thank you for having a love big enough to share with the world, and thank you for having a love so deep I can feel it to the essence of my being…thank you for reawakening the deepest part of my heart, and restoring my faith in its power.

You have impacted my life so much in 10 short days, I can only marvel in wonder at how much you will shift the planet in your lifetime.

so who ever knew the power of one tiny blog…

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Michael Scott

07. Mar, 2009

Dear Sasha,

If our experiences can be of any help to others, we are more than happy to share. But make no mistake - we are just two ordinary people trying to find our way. It is not our love that has moved you so deeply, but Love itself. It is Love (and each of us joining in the dance) that will cause a shift in the planet!

Please understand that your support and loving enthusiasm is also helping us. It’s about community and sharing. You’re already in the dance!

Thank you, Sasha!

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Acooba

07. Mar, 2009

Dear Sweet Sasha,
When I woke up this morning and read what Michael planned to post today, I shed many tears. Now reading your response, I’m moved to tears again. First of all, I’m soOo humbled by your appreciation, and my sincere feeling is that when something or someone is appreciated, growth is the result. From your first response you have been open, loving and supportive, which has contributed greatly to our growth and to the growth of Love To Spare, and we are so grateful for your presence and participation, which has been like a warm and loving embrace.

To be honest, I felt a bit hesitant to open up and share. A few people have encouraged us over the years to be more open, but I’m so used to our little cocoon that I find it a bit difficult. Also, I feel that we are so far from my ideals and have struggled and stumbled so much while trying to find/create our path. I’m really proud of Michael for stepping forward and opening his heart in creating and maintaining Love To Spare, and I credit the incredible people who have welcomed and supported his efforts, and you have been a big part of that support.

About the “Lovolution” I think you yourself said it best when you so eloquently referred to:

“…God’s love, which, of course is infinite, so all I had to do was just OPEN MYSELF UP to God’s almighty love, and let it flow right through….”

I’m happy and thankful that sharing our experiences has resonated so deeply with you. I’m grateful that you have shared so generously of yourself…your time, insight, knowledge and wisdom. Your feedback has helped to bolster our courage, and provide us with direction and hope. Like Michael said, I believe we are already dancing together, and I’m proud of all of us for each time we choose love.
Thank you for your love,
Acooba

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Acooba

07. Mar, 2009

Hey Jeff,
Nice to see you in the “land of love.” As usual, you make me smile (well, laugh out loud really):-). Say “hello” to your lovely wife for me.
Be well and happy!
Acooba

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Regina

08. Mar, 2009

Wow … you guys are awesome (in the pre-surfer-dude sense of the word). What an inspiration!

Regina’s last blog post..The self-absorbed penitent

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Regina

08. Mar, 2009

In the past I would have gotten all depressed reading you two’s love letters to each other, because why didn’t I ever find someone to love and marry and have kids with like that?? I would have felt deprived and envious. But I am where God wants me, and today I read it and I’m just happy for you, and happy that you are sharing your love with all of us. Blessings to you.

Regina’s last blog post..The self-absorbed penitent

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Michael Scott

08. Mar, 2009

Hi, Regina! Thank you for your comments.

It’s funny - when I visited your site yesterday, I thought to myself: This woman has a lot of love. How wonderful it must be to dedicate your life to God.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the blessing of a spouse and children, but there are times when I would like to be more directly focused on God.

It seems to me that there are many paths that lead to Love and that each one has its own set of charms and challenges. Sometimes our biggest challenge is learning to accept the path that we’re on. I think this is why so many marriages end in divorce.

Regina, if you have learned to accept the path that you’re on, then I believe you are wiser than most.

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Nadia-Happy Lotus

08. Mar, 2009

Hi Acooba and Michael,

Special thanks to the two of you for having the courage and security to be so open about your journey. It is truly wonderful and beautiful.

I have been married for 6 years and it has been a very interesting journey. Marriage is so much more than anyone ever tells you and in my opinion it is a great starting ground for growth. I think when two people merge their lives together, all kinds of things and issues will come to the surface. And with each challenge, I think love grows. It is apparent in this post how much love the two of you have for each other and that is truly a gift! Good for you!

One of the women I work with (who is single) has the idea that once you get married, all the problems stop. I always tell her, that is when the journey begins and it is an wonderful ride.

Thank you again, for being so open! Have a wonderful rest of the weekend!

God Bless!

Nadia-Happy Lotus’s last blog post..New Feature: Happy News!!!!

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Michael Scott

08. Mar, 2009

Hi Nadia!

Thanks for sharing, and for offering your wisdom and kind words.

I totally agree, there are some people who buy into the happy-ever-after image of marriage; but marriage takes real work and dedication! Getting married is only the beginning of a long and challenging journey. Hopefully we will recognize it as a wonderful ride.

Thanks again!

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Sasha

08. Mar, 2009

Michael-
Maybe you WERE “just two ordinary people trying to find your way…” But something inside of you kept calling you to become more than “just two ordinary people trying to find their way…” Something deep in your soul answered God’s calling to become a walking, talking, living example of someone who lives an exemplary life of love.

And yes…you are just ordinary people, but every so often someone comes around who is so special in their ordinariness that their vibration and spark wakes people up. They inspire people and bring out the best in others

You guys are creating a momentum that is changing lives….so just DEAL WITH IT!!

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Michael Scott

08. Mar, 2009

Sasha said: DEAL WITH IT!!

LOL!

Sasha, your gracious support and enthusiasm means a lot to me. Thank you. I will admit that “something deep in my soul” has felt a call to start this blog and speak about love, and that it is my hope to help “inspire and bring out the best in others.” But a big part of the message I’m trying to share is that if someone as ordinary and fallible as myself can learn and grow in love, then anybody can. Love is accessible to all of us in such great supply if we open our hearts to it.

Thanks again, Sasha!

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Trey - Swollen Thumb Entertainment

08. Mar, 2009

I never quite know what to think when I get such an intimate look into the relationship of another couple. Michael, what you’ve shared here is certainly inspiring and touching. I hope that you are able to inspire more men to be like you, who embrace love. This does not make us less manly, for love ensures our futures ahead of us, while fear or hate ensures our destruction. It is not manly to be destructed, lol.

Trey - Swollen Thumb Entertainment’s last blog post..Grab Attention With A Cartoon

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Michael Scott

08. Mar, 2009

Hey, Trey, welcome to the site! It’s always nice to see new faces, and we could certainly stand more men weighing in on love.

Acooba and I (up until the time I started this blog) have been very private people. Putting ourselves out there has been somewhat scary for the both of us. But ultimately, I believe that allowing others to see some of our highs and lows could be useful - especially when so many are often cynical towards marriage.

I agree that there is nothing manly about destroying ourselves or shunning love. In fact, I think we all need to embrace love to find true happiness, AND it is the act of embracing love that (more than anything else) helps us to develop true courage and strength.

Thanks for your encouragement!

You’ve got a very cool blog by the way.

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Sasha

09. Mar, 2009

Did you know that until age 39, Mother Teresa was just another nun who was teaching school? Then one day she felt a calling from God to work with the poorest of the poor in Calcutta. The leader of the diocese LAUGHED when she wanted to form her own order of nuns, because she was SO ORDINARY, he didn’t think that she could succeed…

Well…I think you know the rest of the story.

That is what is so inspiring about you and Acooba: you are so very ordinary, and have been called to become something extraordinary, and in following that call, you are reminding us that we ALL have something extraordinary to bring to the table. You both are reflecting back the best part of me, and you have raised the level of the playing field…for that I thank you.

I”m not sure if she carried anyone on her back to Canada, though…so you could still “one up” her!!: )

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Lisis

09. Mar, 2009

Now that I’ve had time to dry my tears…

@ Michael: Well you have certainly taken down whatever walls you once put up to keep yourself from being vulnerable. It is one thing to write the woman you love a beautiful letter like this. But it is quite an extraordinary thing to put it out there for all the world to see. I love it! I hope lots of couples learn from it and realize how wonderful love can be (despite the ebbs and flows.) I’m glad you opted for posting this letter instead of spray-painting I <3 Acooba on the freeway overpass. Much more effective!

@ Acooba: I know now that love at first sight is possible. I haven’t even SEEN either of you and I just love you both to pieces! You two are such great models of what is possible in a marriage and in a family, not because you are super-human, but because you are willing to give it a shot and put yourselves out there. I just love starting my week here!

Thanks!!!

Lisis’s last blog post..Adventure: Colorado’s Fourteeners

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Nadia-Happy Lotus

09. Mar, 2009

Hi Michael and Acooba,

I know I commented on this post before but I was thinking about what you had written in your response about how you hope that you will recognize marriage as a wonderful ride and I think that you already do. I mean…it takes a lot of courage and security to be so open about the love you two share. Yes, you acknowledge the challenges and the difficulties but you both have overcome them and that in itself is wonderful. Of course, there will always be challenges…I mean that is how we grow, right? So don’t be too hard on yourselves…you already are on a wonderful ride and that is the life the two of you are sharing.

As you can see, I am the glass is half full kind of girl! Hope all is well!
Nadia-Happy Lotus’s last blog post..Oh God, It’s Monday

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Michael Scott

09. Mar, 2009

@Sasha
Thanks for the vote of confidence. You know, Mother Teresa, is one of my all time heroes (heroines). I’m pretty sure she’s carried lots of people long distances on her back - including myself.

I’m just going to leave it at that.

@Lisis
Yeah, I guess tearing down the walls was required to continue going forward. I have a saying that:

The mind may insulate against the fires of the heart,
But it has no way to keep them from burning.

So if the pressure becomes great enough, the walls will come crashing down.

You know, your comment came at a timely moment. I was just heading out to spray paint “I luv Acooba” on the freeway overpass. But if you think the letter was enough then maybe I don’t have to.

Thanks so much, Lisis, for your kind words.

By the way, I’ve noticed that sometimes WordPress is still requiring that I approve comments before they appear. I apologize for that. I have it set not to require approval but I guess it’s got a mind of its own.

Reply to this comment
Michael Scott

09. Mar, 2009

@Nadia
Boy, I didn’t even know you had commented just now. This thing about comments being randomly held until approved is driving me nuts. Sorry about that.

Anyway, thank you for your encouragement, Nadia - though I’m not so sure we’re being hard on ourselves. We just don’t want to give the impression that we are something that we’re not. Like you said, we will continue to have our challenges, and there is still plenty of room for us to grow. But honestly, I’m looking forward to it. As you say, the glass is half full!

Thanks again, Nadia.

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Nadia-Happy Lotus

09. Mar, 2009

You are welcome and I know what you are saying in regard to the kind of impression you want to give. Makes total sense.

No worries as to the comment being held. Word Press sometimes wants to remind us bloggers that it is still in charge.
Nadia-Happy Lotus’s last blog post..Oh God, It’s Monday

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Sasha

09. Mar, 2009

She is mine, also. I wish that I still had the 2 DVDs about her that I mentioned in my other post. They are so inspiring. They got ruined in the hurricane/flood. I will find where to get replacements so you can see them: they are truly extraordinary. I wanted to find them again for myself, anyway.

And yes, she has carried the weight of the world on her back for a lifetime. I was only joking…TheDad at BMWK says that men always need a challenge- I was just trying to give you one, and get Acooba carried to Canada at the same time.

Reply to this comment
Michael Scott

09. Mar, 2009

Hey, Sasha, how can I possibly carry Acooba to Canada when you’re always on my back about it?!!

Please let me know if you remember the name of the DVDs. I would very much like to watch them.

Thanks again, Sasha!

Reply to this comment
Sasha

09. Mar, 2009

Strength training, my friend…strength training!!!!

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- Michael Scott
  
  09. Mar, 2009
  
  LOL!
  
  Reply to this comment
Sandra

09. Mar, 2009

This post has inspired me to write my man a love letter. I will try to be as open and honest as you were.

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Michael Scott

09. Mar, 2009

@Sandra
Great! I would love to hear how it goes.

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Acooba

09. Mar, 2009

Lisis -
I know EXACTLY what you mean…I feel the same way! It’s been wonderful to discover a community of positive, like-minded people out there. From reading your posts and your comments it’s clear that we have a lot in common. Thanks for sharing of yourself, for being such a great example, and for “spending time” with us! We love you too!

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Harriet

10. Mar, 2009

This is so beautiful! I tend to be verbose when commenting, but after reading your letter and your wife’s response in commentary, this is all I can say:

I MODULATED.

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Michael Scott

10. Mar, 2009

You modulated? Harriet, please! This is a family site!!!

Seriously though, I was unfamiliar with the use of modulate in that context (see how you’re always schooling me?)

Once again, Harriet, thank you for your kind words.

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Harriet

10. Mar, 2009

oh, LORD! no, i meant modulate like the musical term:

to pass from one musical key into another by means of intermediary chords or notes that have some relation to both keys.

you know how a song goes to the bridge and the key goes higher? that’s what i meant!

i guess i need to harriet-ize it. LOL…your letter and acooba’s response made me take my thoughts to the bridge! LOL

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Michael Scott

10. Mar, 2009

@Harriet
LOL! Yeah, I got what you were saying. I was only having a little fun.

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