The Alchemy of Love - An Introduction

Posted on 30. Mar, 2009 by Michael Scott in Alchemy of Love, Love & Health

We all know that love is about a lot more than just feelings. Nonetheless, our thoughts and feelings have a powerful impact on how we relate to others. In order to effectively maintain loving relationships, we have to try to maintain an atmosphere of love and equipoise within ourselves. Since a lot of our thoughts and feelings have a physiological basis, our ability to think and act lovingly is largely influenced by what we put into our bodies. In other words, the things we consume are not just important for our individual health, they’re also important for our relationships. We need to be mindful of what we feed ourselves.

This idea is powerfully illustrated in an anecdote which appears in Eliot Jay Rosen’s Experiencing The Soul:

A Native American Elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: “Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time.” When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, “The one I feed the most.”

Even though the Elder was probably referring to how we feed ourselves with either positive or negative thoughts, the same idea also applies to the food and chemicals we put into our body. Our brain is a veritable chemistry lab - performing literally millions of chemical reactions or processes each day. It uses the chemicals we feed it through our diet and synthesizes dozens more to create and regulate the functions of our body and mind.

Unless we maintain the proper diet and lifestyle to produce a healthy physiological balance in our brain and body, it’s hard to practice loving thoughts, feelings and behavior. For this reason, we’ve decided to add this new section, The Alchemy of Love, to Love To Spare. In The Alchemy of Love section we’ll explore how physiology effects our experience of love, and discuss specific foods, other elements, and their effects on our feelings and behavior. Plus Acooba will share some of her yummy recipes.

Bon Appétit!

- Michael and Acooba

Tags: Food

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22 Responses to “The Alchemy of Love - An Introduction”

Roger - A Content Life

30. Mar, 2009

Interesting! I look forward to reading other posts in “The Alchemy of Love” section.

Roger - A Content Life’s last blog post..A Tale of Two Homes

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Lisis

30. Mar, 2009

Yipee! I can’t wait to try some of Acooba’s recipes. I’ll bet she puts a fair dose of Love in each and every one.

Interesting angle here, Michael… I am intrigued to see where you will take this. I know I have read before that chocolate produces the same chemicals in our brain that we experience when we fall in love. Perhaps my chocolate addiction explains how I’ve stayed in love with Jeff this long.

Lisis’s last blog post..Adventure: Costa Rican Immigration Odyssey

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Nadia-HappyLotus

30. Mar, 2009

Hi Michael and Acooba!

I am also a big believer that you are what you eat and what you think! The more natural the food, the better. I am always amazed when I read the ingredients in bread…isn’t bread suppose to be just water, yeast, salt and flour? Since when does bread need an additional 30 ingredients that all sound like some processed junk?

So as you can see, I am looking forward to these recipes!
Nadia-HappyLotus’s last blog post..What’s Your Theme Song?

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Michael Scott

30. Mar, 2009

@Roger
Thanks. Me too!

@Lisis
Actually, Lisis, this section will be ALL Acooba. Even I am curious to see where she will take it. One thing I am sure about, though, there really is a good dose of Love in every one of her recipes.

Regarding the same brain chemicals created from love and chocolate: I’ll probably get in trouble for saying this, but that effect only seems to apply to women.

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Michael Scott

30. Mar, 2009

Hi Nadia,

I just noticed your comment. I fully agree - we become what we feed ourselves. So it’s best to think positively and to eat fresh, wholesome foods.

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Positively Present

30. Mar, 2009

I love the anecdote about the dogs. That is SO true in my opinion. Whatever emotions and thoughts you feed will only go stronger. Feed the positive and the good and you will be a lot happier!

Positively Present’s last blog post..a list of sites that inspire

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Regina

30. Mar, 2009

Cool! I’m a total foodie, looking forward to it!

Regina’s last blog post..Annunciation

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Michael Scott

30. Mar, 2009

@Positively Present
That is a great anecdote isn’t it? And so simple. Thanks for commenting.

@Regina
I’m totally not a foodie, but I too am looking forward to this section. You see, Acooba (Dr. Scott actually) makes all the decisions about what we eat in our family. Perhaps I should be embarrassed to admit it, but except for when I eat out, my diet consists of whatever Acooba feeds me. So it will be really nice to learn what I’m been eating for all these years and why.

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Keith

30. Mar, 2009

Wow! Great article. One doesn’t often hear people discussing that what we fuel our physical bodies with affects how we think and behave. As surely as someone’s vehicle requires certain fuel to operate correctly, so does our bodies.

Keith’s last blog post..Programming The Ultimate Computer

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Uzma

30. Mar, 2009

Hey
Sounds great!! I agree with what you say, yet find it hard to make these distinctions as to what is good and what is not. I agree on stuff like coffee and soda’s and junk but what about bread?? Is raw food the best bet like it is for Steve Pavlina. Does food truly effect our levels of Love. Or can Love just move from the realm of pure awareness and take the mind to higher levels through meditation,inquiry etc.

I actually asked an ‘awake’ person , how much food matters in the process of spirituality and awakening. This the blog post that he wrote consequently ,
http://in2deep.wordpress.com/2009/03/26/diet-and-liberation/

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Sara

30. Mar, 2009

Michael,

I look forward to the The Alchemy of Love series. I certain I can use the food recipes that Acooba offered. I have to agree with Lisis, however, I do hope that the good benefits of chocolate will be incorporated…I was ever so pleased when science decided that chocolate was good for you…unfortunately they added the line…”in moderation!”

Sara’s last blog post..Story Photo Contest

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Michael Scott

30. Mar, 2009

@Keith
Hi Keith! Welcome. I agree: “As surely as someone’s vehicle requires certain fuel to operate correctly, so does our bodies.” That’s a great way of putting it. Thank you for sharing. Oh, and nice blog, I’ll be back to read more soon.

@Uzma
Hi Uzma! I think ideally the condition of our physical body should not affect our consciousness. But the reality is that the large majority of us have such little control over our focus and attention, that our consciousness is under the influence of our physical state - which again is greatly affected by our diet. Certain foods and substances make it harder for us to control ourselves. So until we have mastery over our thoughts and attention, it is best to eat foods that don’t have an intoxicating effect. Once we develop mastery it won’t matter so much, but until then why make it harder than it needs to be. Even then, why not stick to foods that are good for all three parts - body, mind and soul? I find that fresh, raw fruits and vegetables are the most liberating, and also the best for my mental and physical health. Unfortunately, I continue to eat many cooked foods and breads (which I’m not proud of) but I do completely abstain from meat, fish, fowl, and eggs.

@Sara
Welcome Sara! Well I can tell you that Acooba also loves chocolate and uses it often (sometimes to my dismay). For example, who in the world needs chocolate bread?! Not me! Anyway, I get the feeling you and Acooba will get along just fine.

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gwen

30. Mar, 2009

I recently watched a documentary about love and the way we view others. It pointed out that this changes over time. It also pointed out the chemical reactions related to love in term relationships and what part of the brain responds. It was the most complete explanation of the chemistry behind love and relationships that I had ever seen.

gwen’s last blog post..Free Phone Service From Google

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Acooba

30. Mar, 2009

@Roger – that’s great! It’s good to know that others share our interests in this area. Thanks for the encouragement, and stay tuned!

@Lisis – I love chocolate too…I can’t eat too much of it, but I savor it in small doses. Thanks for giving me another reason to indulge!

@Nadia – Well I must confess that I like to add “extra” ingredients to my bread: olives, rosemary, raisins, nuts, cranberries, sage, even chocolate! However, I know what you mean…I’ve been utterly mystified at the long lists of unpronounceable ingredients on the bread packages in the store. Also, isn’t it ironic that the fewer the ingredients the higher the price (and vice versa)?

@Positively Present – That is one of my favorite all time stories. It inspires me to think of all the ways that we “feed” the dogs, even literally – wholesome, fresh foods for the good dog, and processed, artificially colored and preservative laden foods for the bad dog.

@Regina – Me too! Thanks for your encouragement.

@Keith – Thanks! I love the car analogy…most of us wouldn’t dream of putting “junk fuel” into our cars, because we know it will cost us in the long run.

@Uzma – Thanks for recommending that article. Although I don’t know very much about Ayurveda, I find it very appealing, particularly the emphasis on balance. Perhaps once someone evolves beyond a certain point their intake may not affect their state of mind very much, but for me it’s very much related. Even my ability to meditate is affected by my diet.

@Sara – the benefits of chocolate will DEFINITELY be incorporated! In fact, I think I’m going to post that chocolate bread recipe Michael was complaining about.

@Michael – Dearie, please check Lisis’ comment above for an important indication of who needs chocolate bread and why!

@Gwen – Wow, that sounds wonderful! Do you have any information of where we might find the documentary? I love learning about the brain, and about love and relationships. Thanks for your comment.

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Vincent @ Yinnergy

31. Mar, 2009

Hi Michael/Acooba, how have you two been?

I am looking forward to reading and linking your Alchemy of Love posts because of my new “Wonder Week” exercises for each day.

This link will be a great start for my first “Wellness Wednesday”
You get out what you put into your body. It is a sacred temple and so we must treat it well by maintaining a healthy nutritious diet.

I was away on a 5 week trip back to my country (Vietnam). I missed blogging with you/Acooba, Roger and Lisis. But I am happy being back now.

Vincent @ Yinnergy’s last blog post..Simple Sundays: March 29, 2009

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Uzma

31. Mar, 2009

Hey
Thank you Michael and Acooba. You both make sense. Foods effect us, and our thoughts as we’ve managed to become so subservient to our physical self. Yup, till we reach a place where the physical won’t bother us, and even after, better to indulge in a purer form of diet.

Thanks a lot for that. You also cleared my confusion.

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Albert | UrbanMonk.Net

31. Mar, 2009

Can’t wait to read more Mike! I read the “two dogs” story once in a book about the shadow, which gives a different interpretation. We have both sides of the coin in us, we are equally kind and compassionate, and evil and nasty. Can’t neglect them both, if we repress the evil side, for instance, it goes hungry and acts out. Best to keep it full and content, where it can sleep until we need it.

I know this has got nothing to do with the post, sorry. I just love that two dogs story so much I wanted to share. Heh heh!

Albert | UrbanMonk.Net’s last blog post..Oh No! Comments Policies and Rules!

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Laurie | Express Yourself to Success

31. Mar, 2009

What a great idea! I’m looking forward to learning more about this and increasing the love portions I serve others.
Laurie | Express Yourself to Success’s last blog post..Criticism and Feedback Aren’t the Same

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Regina

31. Mar, 2009

Acooba,

I have just linked to this post from an article on the “ethics of eating” — down at the end, as “further reading”.

Love
Regina

Regina’s last blog post..Eating as a Moral Act

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Acooba

31. Mar, 2009

@Vincent-
Hello, and welcome back! Wellness Wednesdays sounds like a great idea…I look forward to reading your blog again.

@Uzma-
Thank YOU for wholeheartedly participating in the discussion.

@Albert-
Thanks for sharing…that story is like a beautiful jewel with many facets. I love looking at it from different sides.

@Laurie-
Thanks, me too! I look forward to sharing and learning and growing together.

@Regina-
Thanks for the link! I love the concept of “Eating as a moral act!”

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Yinnergy » Wellness Wednesdays

02. Apr, 2009

[...] http://lovetospare.com/2009/03/30/the-alchemy-of-love-an-introduction/ [...]

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Amanda Linehan

02. Apr, 2009

Michael and Accoba - This is a wonderful idea. I think how you treat your own body (with respect, with care, with love or not) has a tremendous impact on what you give out. The idea that what you have to give, starts with the food you put in your body (essentially what you give yourself) is a powerful thought and one I need to keep in mind from time to time. Thanks!

Amanda Linehan’s last blog post..The Use Of Self Discipline

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