Love Challenge #1: The Curious Case of the SUV

Posted on 31. Mar, 2009 by Michael Scott in Love & Relationships, Weekly Love Challenge

Okay, so the first week’s challenge is for the ladies (you don’t have to be married to answer):

Your husband (let’s refer to him as Richard) needs a new car. All of his buddies and coworkers are driving expensive SUVs. Even though you know Richard really wants an expensive SUV, there’s just no way the two of you can afford one if you’re serious about meeting your shared financial goals. So you and Richard peacefully agree it would be best for him to buy an economy car, especially given the current economy.

One evening after work, you hear loud honking out front. You look out the window to see who it is, and there’s Richard in a brand new, expensive SUV. You calmly walk out to the car to find out who it belongs to.

Richard explains that he just bought the car of his dreams!

How do you lovingly handle this situation, and what exactly do you say? (Fellas, feel free to speak for Richard.)

Oh yeah, and we’ll announce the winners for this first Love Challenge on Monday, April 6th!

- Michael

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13 Responses to “Love Challenge #1: The Curious Case of the SUV”

Regina

31. Mar, 2009

I would have to just laugh and shake my head, because I am pretty impulsive myself. Get him to take me for a spin in it to see how much he loves it. Just as I have come to realize and accept that I am never going to be a super-frugal person, I would have to accept the added layer of financial chaos of having a spouse with the same malady.

Then I would start thinking about ways that “Richard” and I could impose some safeguards on impulse purchases. For instance, we could have no credit cards and our savings budget automatically routed to something less liquid, less easily cashed out. Have more than one checking account so no single one has a large balance, making it harder to spend a lot at once. That wouldn’t help with car-buying impulses, unfortunately, since the carmakers are so desperate to sell that they will lend anyone any amount of money on any terms.

So once the inevitable buyer’s remorse set in for “Richard”, I could suggest some of those safeguards. And we’d just have to sit down and re-think our budget from our new starting point, and also take gas mileage into account when deciding whether to take his new SUV or my old Prius on a given outing.

No drama.

Regina’s last blog post..Eating as a Moral Act

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Lisis

31. Mar, 2009

Well, Michael… one of two options here for me (and keep in mind, I am completely against the whole status car thing; cars are tools.)

1. If he is even remotely open to rethinking his insecurity-induced purchase, I’d kindly point out that there’s a good chance he has 3 business days to return the car… at least where we live.

2. If he is SO in love with said vehicle that he would just wither and die if he had to return it, I would be sure to remind him about it the next time he complains about hating his job… “Gotta pay for the car, Honey.”

Fortunately for me, Jeff is also not into buying anything for status or recognition, OR, for that matter going against something we both agreed to.

Not a very loving approach on my part, I know; but it’s better than my initial response, which was: “I’d strangle him!”

=-)

Lisis’s last blog post..5 Lessons From My Immigration Ordeal

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Michael Scott

31. Mar, 2009

@Regina and Lisis
Thanks for accepting the challenge! This will be fun.

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Laurie | Express Yourself to Success

01. Apr, 2009

I’d expect that he’d move over and let me drive it around for a bit.

I know that if he went out and bought the SUV that he really wanted it and we’d figure something out - how to pay for it, change our financial arrangement or return it and get it in another year or… Whatever the outcome, if we approach it together responsibly, respectfully and with flexibility we can come up with something.

Your game is a fun idea! I’m looking forward to read how others would handle this ’situation.’

Laurie | Express Yourself to Success’s last blog post..Criticism and Feedback Aren’t the Same

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Nadia-HappyLotus

01. Apr, 2009

Hi Michael and Acooba,

I will admit that upon looking out the window and seeing the car, I would slowly walk away from the window, go the bathroom, turn on the fan and scream my head off. I would curse in a foreign language too. I then would compose myself and head on out to see Richard.

I would let him express his joy and look at all the features. I would let him take me for a drive. Upon returning home, I would calmly ask him (this why the screaming had to occur) why he went ahead and did what he did.

I have to admit I would be more bothered at the fact that he felt he needed to impress his friends than at the spending of money. I would let him keep the car, get it out of his system and work on trying to make him realize that he has no need to impress others with a car. I also would secrely hope that maybe we could sell the car down the road but I would not tell him that. So I just would let him enjoy it but work on the underlying reason as to why he felt the need to impress his friends with a car.

I am very happy that my husband is nothing like Richard! Woo hoo!
Nadia-HappyLotus’s last blog post..Doggie In The City

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Ian Peatey

01. Apr, 2009

Richard explains that he just bought the car of his dreams! …

what the wife has forgotten, of course, is that today is in fact 1 April and this is a big practical joke, Richard having borrowed said vehicle from an old friend … he’s curious to see how she’ll react.

Ian Peatey’s last blog post..Spring, and time for a clean-up

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Michael Scott

01. Apr, 2009

@Laurie and @Nadia
Thanks for playing!

@Ian
Thanks for having the courage to shed some light on Richard. You introduce an interesting new possibility: perhaps Richard is merely testing his wife’s reaction. Hmmm… intriguing!

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CS

01. Apr, 2009

This is a tough one…

The first thing I would do is say a quick silent prayer for God to keep my tongue and walk with me through my anger. I would then let Richard explain as we’re driving around in his car what led him to make such a big purchasing decision after we had already discussed where we stand.

After listening we would return home and see if there is any way allowable for us to manage to keep the car. If our budget allows for it… we keep the car but with a promise in the future that neither one of us can make a purchase over $500 without consulting the other spouse.

Option # 2 is that I currently work very close to home. I could possibly sell my car and catch the bus or attempt to carpool to work for 6 months. This would allow us to use the extra money saved on gas and a car note to be applied to the car to accelerate the payments. I would then purchase a used car to avoid and future car payments.

Option # 3 is that if none of the above work out financially, he will simply have to take the car back and we’ll work on restructuring our budget to see if we can get it sometime in the near future.

Then I would go up to New York and purchase a very good knockoff Prada bag. When he got home from work I would exuberantly let him know that I had just purchased the $2,800 bag of my dreams for only $2,000! And after listening to his outraged and disgusted reaction, I would calmly divulge that it is only a $50 knockoff; and that his reaction is the exact way I felt when he pulled up to the driveway in his brand new truck….

CS’s last blog post..Kelly Rowland Leaves Record Label

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Michael Scott

01. Apr, 2009

@CS
Wow, Candi! Spoken like a true accountant. Thanks for playing. We’re getting some really interesting responses.

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Sherri (Serene Journey)

01. Apr, 2009

This is a though one…Even with time I can’t really think of a loving and caring response, I’d be pretty ticked.

Ultimately though we are in it together and if there is no way for the SUV to be returned then we’d be stuck with it. We’d have a long talk. I’d try to understand his thought process and why he made such a large and irresponsible purchase (at least in my eyes) that was entirely in the opposite direction to where we wanted to go as a couple.

Talking and trying to understand that’s what I would do…but I’d still be pretty ticked for a while

Oh and I LOVE Ian’s response, classic!

Sherri (Serene Journey)’s last blog post..Best Of Serene Journey: March 2009

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Michael Scott

01. Apr, 2009

Hi Sherri,

I know what you mean. It would be pretty hard to stay calm on this one. Thanks for taking the challenge!

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Mary E. Ulrich

02. Apr, 2009

This is soooo not like my husband, that if he actually did pull up in an SUV I would:

Take a photo of him and his new toy. Get in the SUV and say, “Let’s go for a ride.”

Then I would just listen. I would let him gush and tell me about the great deal he got and why this was his dream vehicle. Somewhere along the way I would suggest we stop for gas. If the gas shock wasn’t enough, I would tell him the story of The White Elephant.

You know, the Indian folk story about the man whose enemy surprised him with the gift of a white elephant:

The man was so pleased. He put on his finest clothes and paraded the elephant through the neighborhood. As he sat high atop the elephant, he waved to those beneath him. He felt proud and stately and better than the people he passed.

Then the reality set in. What do you do with a white elephant? It is a sacred animal and you cannot destroy it, it eats a ton a day, it takes up a lot of room, and is impossibly expensive to maintain. You don’t even want to talk about the elephant’s “carbon” footprint. The strategy of his enemy was clear….

My guess, the SUV would be back at the dealers by the next day. You get 3 days to return vehicles, right?

Then, I would get the photo developed, if hubby really wanted the image of himself in a big, shiny SUV–he had it.

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Acooba

02. Apr, 2009

Mary -
Thanks for playing! I love the white elephant story.

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